viewed

     When people take a glimpse of your work, they are seeing a visual repetition of what seems to be familiar to them, the objects they have seen in the past that may have caught their attention. But when they linger, stare and wonder, chances are they are looking at you instead - the artist behind the work. A visual life should always be about the artist and nothing else, it’s not about the object or not even about a situation. To a reflecting viewer a masterpiece could mean a lot more than just an artwork, but for an inspiring artist it should always be about nothing but individuality. Sharing it though changes all that and when you are giving and open about your art, you share a borderless picture that will outlive your creative existence.

"Never lose your childish innocence. It's the most important thing. "

- Katherine

...

Tanghali kung sumikat ang aking araw,
 
sa kulay kamatayang paraisong parisukat
 
Abuhan ang aking paningin,
 
at sa puso'y gumulong ang nakaraan.
 
Ikaw ang simoy ng aking hangin
 
at haplos ng malamig mong kamay ang tanging kung suot.
 
Sa damdaming tila nitso ang katahimikan
 
at tunog ponobreng pagtibok.
 
Ikaw ang aking paalam,
 
at ako ang iyong walang hanggan.

criticized

     We don’t want to do nothing, say nothing or be nothing because we don’t want to be criticized.

     What am I doing?

     That is a question that constantly haunts my studio. Especially when I’m working on a modernist painting and there is no one available to give me answers. I look around and realize that I’m in a zone that makes me feel like an outcast.

     I work as a full time artist and I do my creative job completely different from everyone else. The norm is that society will do everything to make us conform to the rules, but that’s contrary to the mold that I fit in. The reason I act the way I do is because my art needs to depend on me, to be true to myself and choose to do things differently. I’m not saying that my approach is better than any other way, but I’m just simply sharing how invaluable it is to be different.

changed

     Goodbye to I.

     It is the last career move in a million years that I never thought I’d find myself doing. My artist life is something that a lot of my friends admire and fell in love with - the mystery, the drama, and the angst. But hey, it’s all to keep the opera rolling along while I indulge myself in my craft.

     Then someone stop the music, literally.

     Without an aria to deliver my creative tension, I am like a dinghy floating without a sail. Art making suddenly feels like a joke and I couldn’t even come up with a punch line. It’s like clinging on to reality that’s not really even there. You’re on a stage building your audience but the curtain is going down and then you hear a whisper saying. “Keep on”. Change your thoughts and you change the world.

     Sometimes we cannot leave our comfort zone until we know the reason why we should and we can’t always be wherever we want to be either so for now I think the best way to survive is to go on and keep creating, a painting, a drawing, or maybe even plant a seed in a pot. It doesn’t matter what you do but you just have to keep on going so you can prove to yourself and to other people that they didn’t get into you and you’re still around - to create something beautiful and be able to create something a little bit more.

seduced

     I know I have it but I never really knew what it is, what that thing is? But I just let it happen, that stuff in my head that makes me creative, makes me see things, and dream of images that are actually going on in another person’s life; the way they think, the way they daydream.

     I feel very fortunate to have a part of my day spending a visual life. Even if it takes an extra amount of time to paint and work on a canvas. It’s not an easy task, you have to fall in love with it and let yourself be seduced a little bit everyday. It’s not just talent exclusive to a chosen few because it’s more of a job but the real joy of it all is having half a day engaged in a world totally different from what is real. It’s another way out from being part of the mundane because it allows you to see more and enjoy that moment of creation. But I’m not special; I don’t dream a thousand images. I only see two or three and that makes it easier for me to paint. My limited imagination is a big plus and it helps me refine, transform and express what little I knew and surface with a better work of art. Because like any creative person out there, we all go to school, we get lost out there, bombarded and feed with different things and as we grow older and better, all these things get narrow and narrow.

     So if you want to create a work of art, you don’t have to have all the other stuff. You approach it in the simplest way you can. So you do not make it so passionate enough and just express that moment enough for it to come out - beautiful.

cradled

     When night falls, the first thing I do to calm myself down is to imagine images I’d like to see in the dark. I don’t get scared of these images; I simply start to envision myself, safe, silent, strong, before the creative process.

     And in those good vibes I let myself rest as I remain cradled in my center. Darkness has power, it gives you unearthly light to visualize.

arrived

     Imagine a long dusty road that stretched out to nowhere in front of you beckoning to an undiscovered future somewhere out behind the horizon that calls you to come. You dream of becoming a freewheeling road tripper traveling alone with rock stars. Your life has shown so many cards and you’re up looking for another surprise. But somewhere along the way, you see people ahead of you and you don’t want to fall behind in that imaginary race. So you measure up and engage in a battle to avoid falling on that curve. You arrived.

     But you fail because your starting point is not out there.

scared

     When the world becomes too big, dark and lonely, colors in the

realm scare fears in the eye.

burried

...and as you look down at the cold, cold ground I'm sleeping in. 

Don't expect to hear me say that I still love you then 

'cause I'll be over you when the grass grows over me.

pulled

In the foggy place of memories

Pulled my knees to my chest

And never allow it to close back up again.

layered

     Everybody’s future always begins now. It doesn’t matter if you’re too far ahead or he is too far behind. What matters is that we look at life through rose colored glasses. An artist’s life for example starts the moment you pick up that brush and open that can of paint. It’s not a routine that you have to start and work up some change at a particular time of day. There is no intention of beginning tomorrow in each and every hour we are given. Anything can start anytime, here and now.

     We all have to choose to choose. Every time I hear that egotistical whisper in the back of my head, I stop and listen closely to whatever option there is to consider. And in that conscious moment creative magic happens. Even simple tasks like washing your paint brush can be enjoyable. If you consider taking that option, everything will come down nicely to an artwork using a very clean brush. It may not change your life but it will surely make your work more pleasant altogether.

      You can start slowly, stroke by stroke, layer by layer until you reach that point and say, hey, this is it. I did it I actually did it.